August 12, 2011

i ♥ coffee



Decaf  “coffee” makes me sick ! I LOVE caffeine and I must have coffee in the morning or else I am a FUCKING BITCH ! I hate it when the only free coffee at work is decaf ! I hate these stupid pussies who can’t handle the REAL deal ! YOU SUCK! Fuck you, fuck your high blood pressure, your medication and jitters and FUCK all you health nuts saying bullshit like “too much caffeine is bad for you, blah blah blah…”

I don’t have issues with caffeine because when I drink REAL coffee I MOVE and burn it off instead of you losers who sit on your fat asses complaining you are jittery. IT IS CALLED FUCKING ENERGY MAYBE IF YOU GET OFF YOUR ASS AND MOVE YOU’LL FEEL BETTER! That is what fucking COFFEE is for! To give you fucking ENERGY! Yeah coffee makes your heart beat faster…because that is what it is supposed to do! If your heart is fucking HEALTHY and not clogged up with JUNK you don’t have to worry about a little bit of caffeine making your damn heart explode!

Just because a few people can’t handle it, the rest of us at work have to suffer with DECAF! The shit is probably worse for your health than regular coffee because they use chemicals to remove the caffeine. Coffee is SUPPOSED to have fucking CAFFEINE! It is NATURAL! If you can’t handle caffeine drink fucking juice, water, milk or fucking herbal tea and let the rest of us have our fucking REAL COFFEE! I am SO sick of this shit that I have been buying my coffee at Starbucks. Bye-bye free coffee…I refuse to drink the fucking chemical laced pussy assed decaf that people make here at work.

When all you decaf drinking wimps are dead I will piss FUCKING REAL COFFEE all over your grave!

August 11, 2011

♥ why i LOVE the "jersey shore" ♥


1. THE ACTUAL JERSEY SHORE HASN’T BEEN THIS INTERESTING IN YEARS
Sorry to be blunt, but no one has found summer on the New Jersey coast exciting since the shark attacks of 1916. On the boardwalks you can buy fried dough and fried Oreos, as well as taffy that will undo any dental work you have had done in the last 40 years. You can buy overpriced tickets for amusement park rides so timid they’d be laughed out of the kiddie area of a Six Flags. And that’s about it.

2. MAYBE ‘JERSEY SHORE’ WILL FINALLY KILL OFF THE KARDASHIANS. 
Anyone truly interested in identifying the most irritating reality show need look no further than “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” on E!, now inexplicably in its sixth season.

3. YOUNG PEOPLE NEED BAD EXAMPLES. 
Too many children today are reaching their teenage years armed only with a Disney definition of “bad person”: it’s someone who talks cattily about your wardrobe behind your back, maybe copies a few answers off your math quiz. They have no idea how much ignorance, narcissism, predatory sexism and hair-gel abuse lurk out there in the real world. Unless they watch “Jersey Shore.” From that perspective the show is a sort of public service.

i hate laundry...





I hate laundry. It never ends. Even if a miracle occurred and I finished all the laundry in the house, someone would walk in covered with mud and grass stains, strip off their clothes and toss them in the hamper, thereby creating a new load of laundry to do.

I have not seen the bottom of my hamper since the day I bought it. I don’t even know if it has a bottom. For all I know, it could be a huge tunnel of laundry going clear to the center of the earth, never ending, always half full of smelly socks and ketchup stained t-shirts. At least, I hope that’s ketchup.

There was a time that I didn’t care about laundry. When I was little, laundry was easy—I didn’t do it. One day I was wearing my last pair of clean underwear, and that afternoon the laundry fairy (also known as mom) magically placed a week’s worth of clean underwear in my drawer. In terms of laundry, this was the best time of my life.

Then i grew up !

Then one day, the laundry fairy went on strike. So I entered the “fluff and fold” phase of my laundry life. Fluff and fold is the ultimate luxury to twenty-somethings. You dump off your gross, disgusting, and smelly laundry at the Laundromat and then you leave. A couple days later you pick it up and it’s folded, smells fresh and all the stains are gone. It’s like the laundry fairy moved into the Laundromat.

Then I got married. I entered the “don’t touch my hand washables” phase. In our house, the hubby did laundry once. He managed to wash (and dry) a gorgeous angora sweater I had just bought for 40% off at Macy’s. When hubby was finished with the laundry that day, my beautiful angora sweater was too small to fit a Barbie doll. I was horrified. I mean, how could I live with a man who couldn’t read a sweater label ? So I took over the laundry duties. Now, to this day, I believe he did this on purpose, but I don’t have enough evidence to convict him.

Of course, even though married laundry involves twice as much washing as single laundry, at least you see the bottom of the hamper from time to time. It’s when you have a child that the laundry never ends. Who knew that one tiny little kid could produce enough laundry for an army? Why does your laundry multiply faster than rabbits in spring?

Anyway, my laundry life has come full circle. It’s pretty apparent that I have become the laundry fairy. I’m kind of disappointed, actually. I mean, the laundry fairy title just kind of stuck to me. There wasn’t any ceremony granting me freshly laundered wings. I didn’t get a magic wand equipped with the power to lift any stain. All I got was a bottle of Shout and some bleach and the dream that someday I will go back to fluff and fold or at least teach hubby to read labels.

August 10, 2011

anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work





I know this 20 year old brat with a 1 year old brat, who thinks the world owes her a living. She left high school at 16 to be nothing. "but I'm a MOM! That's my JOB!" She dropped out to move in with her wigger/pants-falling-off, imbecile boyfriend, who bags groceries 2 days a week and smokes weed the other 5 days of it. This blessed union lasted all of 1 year, long enough to impregnate the idiot, who chose to keep it.

Since giving birth, this leech has been given EVERYTHING, and since she hasn't had to earn a fucking dime her whole life, has no concept/appreciation of the hard-earned money. Then has the undying fucking nerve to complain! She whines that it isn't enough money, she has no free time to "be young and party" with her friends. She wakes whenever her squalling bastard does, stays in pj's and unshowered all day - barring an appointment at the welfare office of course, or the doctor. Which is your typical "ohhh he has the sniffles"..better waste tax dollars getting him checked out!

Her apartment is bigger than mine, she has satellite & internet, she gets all kinds of government subsidized programs for her and her kid and free education should she choose to ever pursue it and get OFF the system which she has no plans to ever do.

What grinds my gears most of all, is hearing her complain how "it's so HARD to be a single MOM...I do it ALL MYSELF!" Ummmmm, NO YOU DON'T!! You have not paid for ONE CENT of your son's life, it has all come from the government, you'd be fucking HELPLESS and living in a cardboard box if you weren't getting a handout every month. Just because you physically GO the hydro office, grocery store, etc, doesn't mean YOU paid anything yourself fucking idiot! "I pay bills", she says... uhh, paying bills means YOU worked to get the money, not waited for the CHARITY to get deposited in your account ! Way to instill a good work ethic and pride in your kid, he'll really respect your desire to do fuck-all with your life when he gets old enough to understand. "you mean YOUR mommy's money doesn't come in the mail every month?

And yet, what a fucking sense of entitlement this bitch has, it's unreal!! She is not even embarrassed to say she's on welfare, she thinks it's a career. No plans to get an education, all she worries about is arranging play-dates with other welfare-bum-moms, and trying new recipes she found online on the computer & internet connection that welfare pays for.

Seriously, take some fucking PRIDE in your life, be able to tell your kid that you EARNED your living, you worked hard for his food/roof/toys/medicine, didn't go grovelling to the taxpayers for every cent, basically begging for a handout. Welfare was designed to be a hand UP, to get through tough times, not a hand OUT for sponges to make a career out of. She is spoiled little bitch who thinks the world revolves around her and her ugly son who she believes is so "advanced" don't they all think that? 

The government needs to CRACK THE FUCK down on these wastes of air/space/time everyone should be allowed a 2 year maximum time period to collect, and if you can't get your shit together by then, TOO FUCKING BAD. There would be a lot less shitty "accidental" moms/dads in the world, if they knew the system wasn't going to wipe their asses for them and set them up in housing with their every need provided for.

The real tragedy of this is, think of how many well-to-do people who have tried to have kids and can't; those who would have so much to offer a child. Yet 15/16/17 year old sluts can spit out kids like pez, and have nothing to offer them but a life of poverty, food stamps, and limited opportunity. Then, their Facebook friends say, "OMG! CONGRATS!!!" Yeah, congratulations, high school drop-out with your boyfriend of 5 months! Man, this kid's headed for great things! Your options are: live with Mom & Dad and ruin their life because they'll end up raising it or, get set up on welfare and keep draining money out of our already crippled system. 

How can they be so selfish ?

August 9, 2011

live out your SNOOKI dream ♥



I AM A JERSEY GIRL, so a jersey-guidette-themed palette seriously is exactly what i need. The more I look at this thing the more I am drooling over it. The hip and pretty Haute Jersey palette was inspired by the Style Network's show Jerseylicious. Haute Jersey palette offers beauty fans a creative way to express their inner DIVA !

Stylish, sassy, and tan! The Haute Jersey palette screams beautiful, fun, and sizzle!

The palette offers four bronzers to provide a tanned glow through the seasons, duo gloss for a va-va-voom kisser, 24 shadows for those “come hither” eyes, and blush to make the boys think they’re in the game!

So girls live out your SNOOKI dream without being at the jersey shore... oh and did i mention it's only $25 !